…especially when you live in a house that you don’t like for multiple reasons.
I currently live with my two parents and my cat. Somehow, my parents thought they needed a two-story house, with four bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms, for all of us. At the time they had the house built, we had a dog, and I had no idea I would have a cat. I was about to start sixth grade. I didn’t really understand that my parents needed more space for meaningless stuff, and that a “good” neighborhood for them meant one with virtually all white people and churches yards from each other.
Not only do I not like where I am living, I don’t really like my parents either. I honestly wondered when I was younger if I was actually adopted because I seemed so different from my parents and the rest of the family. This is partially due to the fact that I have Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of autism. However, my conception of the world is vastly different from that of my parents. They refuse to learn about my faith, though I have officially “come out” to them about it. My parents aren’t the least bit curious about how I plan to celebrate the Winter Solstice/Yule within my faith.
Due to the suspicion surrounding my Druidry, I must be very careful when I perform rituals and generally do work related to Druidry (such as my Dedicant’s Path work within ADF). If I am working on something “weird,” instead of my parents respecting my choice of reading material, they ask what I am doing.
I cannot perform rituals in my room when they are home, for the simple fact that I have a door with no lock. I have had no lock on my door since I was a child at the old house because I would lock myself in my room whenever I was angry or my parents wouldn’t leave me alone (when I was very little). This has carried over into my adult life at my parents’ house, unfortunately. There is always the chance that someone will get suspicious that the door is shut and open the door without bothering to knock. Even when my fiance comes over, the door is to be left open (not to mention we can’t even sleep in the same bed if we’re in a hotel room with my parents).
Druidry is also hard when you don’t have a driver’s license. My fiance doesn’t have one either. We are both just too terrified I guess. I can’t ask to go to the local “New Age” shops because my mother will refuse to take me. Also, the bus system in my county is virtually nonexistent. I also can’t randomly ask to go to a friend’s house to perform a ritual or something because I normally don’t get out much (this is mostly due to the lack of a good bus system).
My parents (especially my mother) think I should be a homemaker or something who just keeps house all day. My mom will ask me to do things like run the dishwasher or do laundry over the next couple weeks because I’m done with my semester. My parents obviously don’t think I have anything else to do, when I could be reading about Paganism or working on the DP. They also don’t understand that I don’t want to be the typical wife who just keeps house for her husband and all of that. My fiance actually likes to cook, and has agreed to help me with things like laundry and keeping our home clean.
I guess my point is that a lot of you Pagans and Druids out there are lucky to either be living with people who respect and tolerate your faith or are living alone. I would love to be able to decorate for the High Days, but I must do so indirectly or else I will get asked about it, leading to an explanation that will just be ignored in the long run. I would also love to be able to do rituals in peace and know I won’t be disturbed by someone coming home early, or taking the day off, or whatever.
If anyone has advice, reassurance, ideas, or anything else they would like to share, please leave a comment.