A realization

After some discussion with my husband about my Path and the fact that I feel so down about it a lot of the time, I’ve come to an important realization:

I am eternally indecisive.

I’ve known this for a long, long time, but it finally hit me that this applies to me spiritually as well.  I honestly don’t feel much of a kinship with Norse deities other than Sunna and Freyja.  When I worshiped the Hellenic pantheon, I didn’t feel much of a connection there either, except perhaps to Mnemosyne, Goddess of Memory.  (I have been thinking of taking up worship of her again.)  What little I know about the Celtic, Roman, and Vedic pantheons doesn’t resonate with me either, though more research is perhaps needed there to make sure.

Craig pointed out that in the ancient world, deities from different regions were often worshiped side-by-side, like Isis in the case of the Romans.  Also, the peasants didn’t necessarily know everything about the lore that modern Pagans do.  He pointed out that there is no need for me to memorize the Eddas or the Homeric Hymns to be “a good Pagan.”  I am not much different than the average peasant in those days, and I need to come to terms with that.

I am currently waiting on some books I ordered.  One is DruidCraft by Phillip Carr Gomm, which is a synthesis of Druidry and Wicca.  The other books I ordered are about Traditional Witchcraft, a path I am interested in exploring further.  I think tying myself down to one tradition does not suit me well, and I shouldn’t hesitate to learn and grow within other traditions, such as witchcraft.

I have never been one set in her ways.  I go to sleep, wake up, get coffee, and have three meals a day.  Those are about the only consistent things for me, besides doing those things with my husband.  I don’t even manage to brush my teeth everyday, and a daily, full-time job just does not suit me.  Now I’m realizing that it’s okay to extend this approach to my spirituality.  🙂

Blessings, Victoria ❤


6 thoughts on “A realization

  1. I applaud your decision to seek a more eclectic path which you can craft to suit your own needs–without self or other imposed limits. To freely explore everything out there without feeling you should study this, not that. I’m speaking from experience having left a path that left me down much of the time. My own fault of course because I allowed myself to be reined in by trying to faithfully follow the advised program. Didn’t realize it until after I left and found a path that while structured, allows an immense amount of freedom to discover my own way.

    • Actually the DP I feel provided just enough structure to lay a foundation. Not to mention you don’t have to do the DP to be an ADF member. ADF doesn’t care about your personal practice, which is why I am still an ADF member. So, honestly, I think most of the reasons people give for leaving ADF are buckshot. Just my opinion, but there are plenty of ADF members who have not completed the DP. The number is 240-some out of a total of 1300 members, last I checked.

      Again, that’s just my opinion. Feel free to disagree.


      • When I say “buckshot,” I mean “bullshit.” I am on my phone.

        Really, I’m sorry you didn’t feel the DP was a good fit for you, but only four High Days are required to be ADF-style. Not to mention the other essays are just basic information about the 8 High Days/Sabbath, and only three books are required reading. The rest is pretty much up to you, and there’s no time limit.

        It’s a good intro to contemporary Paganism, in my own opinion.

  2. Victoria, Because I practice as a solitary, there was simply no reason for me to stay with ADF because they had nothing to offer me. I wasn’t going to do ADF style rites, I wasn’t going to restrict myself to their recommended readings and shy away from the stuff they don’t recommend, and I find myself more in touch with spirits of land and the four directions than named deities I the Indo-European stable. For those reasons–ADF simply doesn’t offer me anything and I have nothing to offer it so seemed the honorable thing to do is leave. I’ve since joined two other groups which are a pretty much perfect fit for me and have done far more to introduce me to various pagan paths than ADF ever did. That ADF works for some is wonderful—it’s just not for me.

    • I’m sorry; I realize my words sounded harsh. I am so glad that you found groups that work for you! Honestly, I’m not so sure about staying in ADF at the moment myself. I guess I’m trying to reassure myself more than anything.

      I sincerely apologize, and I really am interested in the other groups!

      Many blessings,
      Victoria 🙂

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